Looking For Doorways
Welcome to my October newsletter. In this issue I will talk about one element of my process for working with my clients. People often have strong protective and defensive mechanism. The initial challenge for me is getting permission to pass beyond the guards at the gate. Read on to learn more about “looking for doorways”.
All my clients are unique. The symptoms, the holdings, the pain can be similar, but what brought them to this place is always unique to the individual. Their life experiences, their injuries, their traumas both physical and emotional have formed and molded their bodies and psyches.
When working with my clients I look for patterns. All aches, pains, and dysfunctions are components of strain patterns. A badly sprained ankle leads to shifting weight to the opposite side, which leads to a stiff hip, which leads to a tilted pelvis, which leads to back pain. Body patterns can also have emotional origins. A child who is consistently told that he is not good enough will often look downward. If this self-image does not shift, he will become an adult with a head forward, slumped shoulder, and compressed chest posture. After a time his body can no longer compensate for this posture and he shows up in my office with chronic neck and shoulder pain.
To unwind these patterns of strain it is helpful and at times imperative to find the doorway into their system. By doorway I don’t mean the origin of the pattern. What I look for is an entry point, some key to allow me access or more accurately permission to enter. This entry key is associated with my client’s conscience or unconscious belief that what I am doing or about to do is a “good” thing. Our bodies are chucked full of defensive or protective mechanisms. If it doesn’t want to let you in, you can be pretty darn sure that you aint getting in. A person, a body must feel safe to open.
We have all experienced a healthcare practitioner who, with little introduction, begins prodding, poking, and yanking our body into uncomfortable positions. We feel violated, attacked. Our protective mechanisms jump into action, we tense and hold on. With little conversation and even less listening, he tells us “what is wrong” with us. Is this an opportunity for healing? I think not. A person must be approached with respect and a proper introduction.
Doorways are as different and unique as the clients themselves. For some clients it is an initial phone conversation that opens the door. For others it is the quality of my touch or where on their body I begin working. Sometimes it is movement work, other times it is dialogue that opens the door. It may be deep tissue work, or gentle cranial touch, or subtle energy medicine. Sometimes it is just me truly listening, and them feeling heard.
What works for one client doesn’t work for the next. Sometimes I am talking to a client, or leading them through a movement exercise, and they are looking at me as if I was from Mars. (A good clue that this is not the doorway in) This is why I like to have several treatment modalities and techniques in my tool bag. I get clues but I am never sure what is going to allow me access. This is the art of my work.
It is clear when I do find the doorway and get permission to enter. The client’s tissue opens to my hands, tension and strain unwinds, muscles soften and relax. Words, sounds, smiles, and other expressions of relief come out of them. I can even feel my own body relax more. This is the sweet space of surrender, open connection, and healing.
Knock, knock, it’s me, can I come in?